Rejection comes in many shapes and forms, asking someone out on a date, jobs, so-called friends. Today I got rejected by a short older gentleman via email. No I didn’t want to bang him or be his pal, I wanted to work for him. (more…)
noelove has written 305 articles so far, you can find them below.
As I stand here typing this, eating a terrible breakfast, because when I have money issues (who doesn’t), I always go to food to make me ‘feel better’ and then after I’m done eating, fully regret what it is I just shoved in my face. Money more than anything on this earth stresses me out. Its the soul reason I can’t do certain things I want to do because I only have enough to get by and sometimes do nice things for myself.
This morning I realized that I can’t go to a wedding this weekend with El Jeffe because I just don’t have the money to make it happen. And I realized that I was irresponsible in buying my Blizzcon ticket. I should have planned better, I should have thought it through more, but what I want more than anything is go, and to see my friends and to work towards this goal. And that means that I am setting aside going to this wedding with J because of it. If I hadn’t bought the ticket, I’d have the extra money for gas, and to buy drinks or whatever we would need down there. Its his best friend’s wedding and I won’t be on his arm because I am a selfish bitch who wants her needs met before anyone else.
So I’m considering selling my ticket and not attending the actual convention. Because I feel like I am letting J down. This wedding would be the first time I would be meeting his friends, and basically second family. And that is important to him. But before I take any drastic action I want to write about this dress and possibly shove my toothbrush down my throat and purge the bowl of pasta I just ate.
I’ve never worn this dress
When I was a young girl I remember telling my mom that Mother’s Day was bullshit. That it was a day for people to make amends with their mom because they don’t tell her that they love and appreciate her daily. Which is something I did as a child. My mom was incredibly loving to me and at a very young age taught me to appreciate her. We hugged a lot, we kissed, we said I love you multiple times a day. So to me, Mother’s Day was just stupid. So I didn’t make her cards, I didn’t buy her presents. I would sometimes get random 5th birthday cards or better yet bereavement cards for Mother’s Day.
26 is a pretty special number to me. One of my loves was a deejay and I think by far the greatest mix that he ever created was done on 7/26. It was perfection. I had at one time thought about naming my design business SevenTwentySix, but opted to keep it with my name. I was 26 years old when I gave birth to my first child. That was almost ten years ago. And for ten years now, I haven’t been taking care of myself. I have been busy growing small humans, caring for them, and it left little to no time for me. I’ve waxed and waned with my weight for so long now. And this journey has not been a pleasant one. I’ve tried everything to keep my focus, and until now nothing has really worked. I’m not blaming my children for the weight in any way. I am blaming myself and the only way to actually make it change for good is to focus on the positive. Make the changes slowly, and steadily. I still want to be a hot bitch, and I want to add another level of focus for myself.
I have 26 dresses in my closet that don’t fit me. Twenty six. Really its more like 18 dresses and 8 outfits, but 26 *dresses* sounded so much better. My goal is to take this one week at a time. One dress, one outfit each week and write about how I felt wearing that dress. Who I was with, who I kissed, where I went, what I ate.
I have 26 weeks, starting today until Blizzcon. I have 26 weeks to remind myself that I am worth taking time for. That I have the willpower and the ability to take it one week at a time, focus on that dress/outfit as a goal. Remnding myself daily that I can do this, because hell its only one week. I can surely dedicate myself to getting to wear an amazing dress for a whole week right? Its only one week at a time. (more…)
I don’t claim this to be legit Thai Coconut Chicken Soup, but its incredibly tasty and easy to make. I had most of the ingredients on hand and whipped it up pretty quickly.
Thai Coconut Chicken Soup
1 whole chicken
1 carton organic chicken stock
2 cans coconut milk
1 sweet onion, diced
1 bunch of celery, diced
5-6 cloves of garlic minced
1 bunch of cilantro, chopped reserving 1/4 cup for garnish
2-3 tablespoons of grated fresh ginger
3 packages of ramen, cooked without the seasoning packet, drained
2 stalks of lemon grass
Zest and juice of 2 lemons
1 cup of bean sprouts for garnish
Throw your whole chicken in your crock pot with the lemon grass with enough water to cover. Cook on high for 3-4 hours or low for 6-8. De-bone and shred the meat, strain and reserve the liquid.
In a large stock pot sauté your onions until translucent. Add celery, garlic and ginger. Cook until fragrant.
Add chopped cilantro.
Add lemon juice, chicken stock and reserved cooking liquid plus 2 cups of water.
Add shredded chicken.
Add coconut milk and bring to a boil until heated through.
Add cooked ramen noodles.
Serve in big bowls and garnish with lemon slices, cilantro and bean sprouts.
I hate this. I hate that I don’t have sheer will power to stay on track. I’ve had two home births. And my first I was in labor for 46 hours, with pitocin and no epidural rocking contractions that would bring linebackers to their knees. Yet I pressed one. But this…this bullshit is HARD.